I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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