His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
