Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
