She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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