peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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