Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize