Will you blow on my dice?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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