i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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