The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
