Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's paint friendship bongs
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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