Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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