This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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