Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
