dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
