so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
