you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
