i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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