Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
