He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
