I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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