i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
