This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
