I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
foreskin is a definite game changer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
