apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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