im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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