who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
