yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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