ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
