I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
