do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
