is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
