Moan for me like Helen Keller
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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