i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
