She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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