She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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