I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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