In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
