Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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