I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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