i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
