its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
