so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
