We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
