Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
