You're my little dorito
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
