Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
