4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
