Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
