Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
