I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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