I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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