Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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