But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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