My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
