why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
