so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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