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• (319): View more from Iowa

  By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone

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• (619): View more from California

  why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk

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• (406): View more from Montana

  stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it

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• (714): View more from California

  The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He does that

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• (561): View more from Florida

  P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex

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• (646): View more from New York

  The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.

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