he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize