just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
