I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
