Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
