I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
