I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
