This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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