Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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