Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
