i was born a porn star she said
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just google imaged poop.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
