she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
