You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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