He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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