Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Enjoy the penises
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
